Sunday, November 25, 2012

Home's CoolArmyDoc

For some perspective, I am a U.S. Army Board Certified Pediatrician.  A little over a year ago I gave a presentation to many of my peers in our robust department in order to expose them the perspective of a homeschooling parent.   My decision to prepare this talk was precipitated by a series of collective sighs, murmurings and dismissive comments I witnessed over several months.  The setting was usually during morning report when patient cases were presented to the department for the purposes of expanding the knowledge of the pediatric residents.  One aspect of the patient history residents are expected to explore, even if it seemingly has no relationship to the current illness, is the school history (i.e. what grade the child is in, history of school failure or learning disability, etc.).  Though the snickers and snide comments were unrelated to the patients’ diagnosis and not directed at me, the disparaging comments were still directed at the families and their schooling choice.  I felt ashamed that I was part of an organization that held certain families in contempt, sight unseen, only because they’d chosen not to place their children in public or private school.  No wonder homeschooling families always seemed on the defensive in our clinic--it was another adversarial environment to them.  Residents are taught to be advocates for their patients and accepting and non-judgmental, but why did it stop with homeschoolers?  My motivation to prepare the presentation was to educate my department so they would now be equipped to partner with their patients and families, see the benefits of homeschooling and be able to converse intelligently with them, thereby making them advocates and not adversaries.

Until my presentation, I'd hidden the fact that my wife and I were in our third year of homeschooling our children, not out of shame or fear, but for the purpose of avoiding friction.  Especially from a new member of the department who'd not established his credibility yet.  My immediate boss and my closest peers were aware we homeschooled and though they thought us a little odd and overprotective for our choice, they were on the whole neutral to supportive.  Once they saw my children on several occasions, they realized we took it seriously.  I calculated that I'd better equip myself with the facts so I could meet their questions with evidence, discuss my opinions and review my experiences (once I’d digested them thoroughly) before regurgitating them.   

Inside the homeschool circles, there are several running jokes and top ten lists about the questions that homeschooling parents and kids continually face?  
-Isn’t Homeschooling Illegal? No-but we’re really worried about it becoming so.
-Don't you care about their socialization?  Yes, that's one of the reasons we homeschool.
-Don't you have to be certified to teach? Certifiable-Yes; Certified (e.g.  4-year degree in education)-No.
-Aren’t you concerned about their chances of getting into a good college?  Yes-that’s one of the reasons we homeschool.  
And the questions go on.  I am not annoyed by the questions, but see them as an opportunity to expose parents to another way to educate their kids.  Before I answer their question, I usually ask them for their perception or understanding of homeschooling as a way to deconflict the emotions and create an atmosphere conducive to dialogue.  

For your digestion, here’s our not-so-novel list of reasons for homeschooling our children and additional commentary: 

  1. To teach them the 3R’s at their own pace and on our schedule:  They use an established and proven curriculum.   Though not required in the state where we homeschool, we have standardized testing administered every other year as a ‘self-check’ on our methods.  They are doing very well and we are proud of their progress.  They usually get their school done within 3-5 hours.  They can take a few hours off during the day to come eat lunch with me.  Or a few days during the week to go on field trips (without the crowds) or go on vacations during the off-seasons (also avoiding the crowds).  Many museums, businesses cater to homeschoolers to make off-peak hours of the day profitable for themselves and less expensive for us.  They have chores every day but we don’t use them to run a business venture on the side.  
  2.   Reasonable and guided social interactions:  We believe that if we want them to act like adults when they leave the home, they need to be around an adult for a significant portion of each day.  Thankfully, they still don’t know most cuss words.  They are frequent recipients of public praise by strangers.  They get plenty of ‘play time’ with same age peers.  They have sleepovers, go to birthday parties, social outings, have nerf wars, get mad at their friends and one another, etc..  Additionally, when they are exposed to public school kids their age, they get along fine and are frequently the quiet leaders.  
  3. We want to transmit our worldview to our children, not have it dictated to them from strangers under the guise of ‘mandated-by-law curriculum’.  For instance, we teach that God created the heavens and the earth.  We also teach Evoution/Darwinism, in that it is one theory on the beginnings of man, but it is a theory that has not been proven and has many flaws in it.  Also, we refuse to teach ‘sex-education’ until such time that their bodies dictate that the education commence for their own understanding.  
  4. Safety.  In these times, and depending on where you live, it just doesn’t seem sensible when you have the option to homeschool to send your children to a building where they have metal detectors at the entrances and they lock all the doors during the school day because they don’t have the ability to protect your children otherwise.  Understandably, the school is not responsible for creating the unsafe environment in most cases, but nevertheless, the concern is the same.  And bullying is not tolerated in our school. 

These are some of the reasons we homeschool and benefits we enjoy.  Homeschooling was a deeply personal and difficult decision.  It would have been easy for my wife to send the kids to school and sleep/shop all day but she takes it upon herself to give her time, attention, devotion, and sometimes her last nerve, to the education of our children.  But we have the greater reward for them in our sights.  By choosing homeschool  for our kids does not mean we hold parents, who choose to educate their children in a public or private formal setting, in contempt.  On the contrary, we want what is best for them and support them in their decisions.  

Let me know what you think.  Why do you homeschool?  What questions do you have about homeschooling?  Do you think homeschooling should be outlawed?  

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